Everyone has heard many strange and unusual stories that happen all over the world but for some reason the scariest ones are most likely to come from Mexico. And when I heard this story I was definitely scared, especially to walk by myself at night. When my grandfather was a teen one of his uncles always told him a story about his grandfather, he lived in a very small town in Sinaloa, Mexico. He watched over some cows at a ranch and it took him 2 hours to walk to his job and another 2 hours from his job to his house. He butchered and skinned the cows and sold their meat.
One night though he had to take back some cow skins to one of his neighbors, he got out late at night and started walking home. On his way he had to go thru a monte which is the Spanish word for a small forest. Everything was dark and silent but this didn’t scare my grandfather’s uncle’s grandfather since he had been walking thru the same path for years, except that this time he was carrying dried cow skins over his shoulders. As he kept walking he felt someone or something pull on the skins and he quickly turned around thinking it would perhaps be a thief but nobody was behind him. He looked around but saw nothing around him.
He started to walk again but as soon as he did he felt a stronger pull and turned back around. Nothing. He starred into the dark, trying to make out any figures but there were just trees and bushes surrounding him. After a while he decided to start walking home again, this time he started to walk faster and kept looking back constantly when all of a sudden he felt something jump on his back and hit him with such a force that he almost fell, he managed to stay on his feet but this time he noticed that whatever was following him was standing right behind him. He slowly turned and then he saw it, the devil in shape of a black dog with red eyes. He remembered to cow skins and slowly reached for them and placed them on the ground starring into the dogs red eyes and then quickly ran for his life not ever looking back once.
The devil is said to appear in many shapes and forms and that night he saw him in the shape of a ferocious giant black dog with bright red eyes. But of course it could have just been a dog with rabies that attacked him because of the cow skins right? But can your normal average dog actually jump on you?
I liked your story, it was different and it caught me off guard. The only questionable thing is how far the story has been passed down, which could suggest details get scrambled up, but I really enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Katie in the fact that it's your grandfathers uncles grandfather. It's awhile to be passed down. I think the Devil is always symbolic of "black' "red" and "ferocious". Why did he put the skins down? A dog with rabies is a very reasonable explanation. It is a good story though!
ReplyDeleteI liked your story and the emotional feel it had to it. I would just suggest that you re-read it out loud and make sure that you make grammatical changes as needed. I think your last sentence could maybe be changed because I know many dogs that can jump on people like the one in your story. Just a thought! Thanks for the great read.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you ended the story. It put some wonder to it. The word choice helps the credibility, as well as the mention of scary stories that come from Mexico. The details you included when he was walking home makes it sound realistic.
ReplyDeleteThe usage of thru instead of through was slightly annoying. In the end putting in that it may have been a dog kind of ruins the effect by showing that there is a chance that YOU do not believe it.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the way you set up your sentences. In making them short and almost fragmented they gave an element of drama to your story. However, you should reread it and fix some grammatical errors. How long the line of family members the story is passed down from could hurt the credibility of the story. The way you described his reactions to being scared really relates to readers though!
ReplyDeleteGood story! You were very detailed leading up to the entrance of the dog and I could picture it in my mind. You could have added more emotion to the story to draw in the reader and the credibility is a little weak. Besides that i thought it was a very good creative story!
ReplyDeleteThe story was good. The middle paragraph was very interesting and definitely kept my attention. The ending of the story hurt the credibility a little. A dog could jump on someone if its a big one. It was still a good story. I do believe that it could have been the devil, it wouldn't surprise me if it actually was.
ReplyDeleteGood story. I'm thinking it's a Chupacabra. The family relation could be used in your analysis, also the chain of events perhaps. It didn't just suddenly happen. It was late, there was a forest, there was noise, pulling and the confrontation.
ReplyDeleteI watched a movie with a donkey that had red eyes and was considered the devil so the fact that you have a dog thats the same way is something i might be more apt to believe. I like the setting and the mood and everything, like how he is a slaughterer in a slaughterhouse.
ReplyDeleteOther than a few mispelled words here and there i thought it was really a great story! i was left wondering at the end. The fact that you left it up to the reader to decide what he/she believed was a good move, definitely made me think about it! nice job!
ReplyDeletethis story is so credible to me because i have heard similar stories and they are all highly creepy in the sense that this could happen to almost anybody. just a few grammar errors but for the rest great story
ReplyDeleteI like the way that you ended the story however, it did feel a little choppy. I feel like if you made it flow a little more it would be even better. This was a very interesting and entertaining story and really had me wondering whether or not the devil could appear as a job. You left it open to the reader which was good.
ReplyDeleteThe descriptions surrounding how he reacted was good and I like how you gave some background information about his occupation (what he did, how far he travelled etc). You might want to consider changing or taking out the last sentence where you question if an average dog can jump on you because I know that there are dogs that can do this. But by noting that the devil can appear in many shapes and forms, it’s clear that the devil does not always appear in this dog-like form. It is open to different interpretations and perceptions.
ReplyDeleteI like the story but you don't really explain how the story has been passed down very well. I like the way it was written with such details and imagery which makes it easy to visualize what is happening in the story. There are a few grammar errors that need to be corrected other than that it is very well written. I like the facts at the end of the story about the devil.
ReplyDeleteLmao, yea it might be the chupacabras. I really liked this story I'm hispanic and have heard a lot of stories and leyendas like this before. The fact that has been passed down for so long does hurt the credibility and also maybe some details by be lost or changed with time. But over it was a really interesting story.
ReplyDeleteThere is a few grammar errors. And the fact that it was passed down to you, there could be some credibility issues. But other than that I liked your story.
ReplyDeleteCool story. I love stories about Mexico cause once you've spent time there you understand that spooky feeling it has. The intro was very strong. It made me ready to hear whatever came next. There were a couple errors but overall great job
ReplyDeleteThere were a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes throughout the story. I was also confused on who the story was supposed to be about. The way it was written and confusion about the person who went through the experience hurts your credibility. Elaborating on why the person thought it was the devil or more background behind it would have helped too.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your story, it was indeed unusual but I liked that it wasn’t your everyday ghost story. The background at the beginning helped get a mental image; also, the Spanish words added a nice touch to the story and made it feel really authentic. I think that adding “my grandfather’s uncle’s grandfather” hurt the credibility of your story because it shows how many generations it has been passed down through and make more room for details to get changed in the process.
ReplyDeleteI’m not sure if I believe this story. The constant grammatical errors detract from your credibility, as does the fact that the story was passed down from many generations in your family. The last sentence really detracts from the story as a whole because it is entirely reasonable for a dog to jump on a person, especially if that person was covered in a cow’s hide. Rabid dogs need to eat too. Also, it might be beneficial to mention why your distant relative automatically thought of the devil when he saw the dog.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your story. The family relation could be used in your analysis, also the chain of events perhaps
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