Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Sears Southwest Spector - Tyler Gehring

Not too long ago, a coworker related a story to me of the ghost of the Sears at Southwest Plaza. To those with a weak stomach or those who are the faint of heart, this may not be the story for you. It is filled with angst, death and woe. Many of the events have been fabricated or elaborated to add to the story. I am not declaring that the story is entirely true, but it is based off of an event that did occur. I am not meaning to offend or cast offense to the deceased victim of this story; I am merely relating a relation that was related to me.

It was a kind of dark and kind of stormy night. Not quite dark out yet: the sun’s rays, barely peeking out over the top of the Rocky Mountains, cast an eerie twilight over southern Denver. Storm clouds loomed in the distance threatening to unleash their great loads. But this is not a tale about the weather mind you. I would like to bring our attention to a young man at the ripe age of twenty eight. John Smith is his name, and Loss Prevention is his game.

John Smith worked for the great Sears Holdings Company. Originally he had been hired on as a tool salesman, but ended up in a position that no one wanted: the Loss Prevention Department (LP). Instead of selling power drills and wrenches, he sat in a little office monitoring the live camera feeds from around the store. His mission was to catch individuals stealing things. Lately, it hadn’t been going well for John. You see, he was a high school dropout. He had been working odd jobs here and there to help provide for his family, but his wife, Jane Smith, had had enough. She planned on living in a nice suburban house with a couple new cars and having lots of spending money. Since John hadn’t been able to provide that she compensated by proceeding to rack up the charge on multiple credit cards thus launching them both into enormous debt. She was tired of waiting for his big break, so she left him and took their eight year old girl with her. John felt hopeless. He was in a dead end job with a divorce to settle. His debt was astronomical. Above all, John felt worthless.

It was nearing nine o’clock and just before John went to close down all of the public access doors, he received a phone call. It was Joe Shmoe from that free legal aid clinic at the YMCA. John had gone to it so that he could perhaps get some advice on what he should do for the approaching divorce and his options for the future. John eagerly answered the phone, hoping for some good news to perhaps lift his spirits. He needed something because he was on the brink of, if not at, life threatening depression. Ever since Jane had left, declaring that she wanted a divorce and complete custody their daughter, his life had fallen apart. John found it extremely difficult to show up to work anymore. He had been calling in sick frequently. He was slacking while on the job leading to an inability to catch any of the many thefts Sears had been experiencing over the past two months. The odds of him being fired were imminent; it was just a matter of time till his manager confronted him. John answered the phone and felt all his remaining hope drain out of him. Joe told him that after reviewing over his financial statements and his overall standing, John was, in lack of a better phrase, in a hole so deep he would need the closest thing to a genie’s magic wish to pull himself out. Joe suggested that John declare bankruptcy, that way they could eliminate a bit of the debt that he had, though not all of it. The debt from John’s unpaid taxes for the past year or two weren’t going to go away. Joe apologized for the bad news, and tried to console him by telling him that if he worked hard enough, he could possibly make it happen. It would be a hard road and John was basically shot, but it could be done. But this went in one ear and out the other for John. The second he heard bankruptcy, his brain went into a bit of a shutdown. With the new laws making bankruptcy unlike what it used to be he would still be unable to pay off that debt. John just shut his phone and blankly stared off into space as he felt the world just fall out from under him. He was done. There was no hope for him anymore. John knew that even if he tried, he would never make it. Slowly, John left his office and headed for the storage rooms downstairs. As he reached his destination, he pulled off his belt and began to tie it to one of the cross members…

Many years later, a witty young man with dashingly good looks, by the name of Tyler, applied and got the job as a cashier at that very same store. Now, the first few weeks were full of new experiences and things for Tyler to learn, so he never really had anytime by himself. When they finally started putting him at the register downstairs, Tyler frequently found himself alone in a deserted store, due to the fact that Sears was no longer as busy as it used to be. It is said that many people around the world experience a feeling that they are being watched when they are alone or as if there is another thing present with them. Whether they believe that it is the government, aliens, God, or the supernatural, Tyler experienced this exact feeling. It usually started as that small tingle on the back of his neck as his hairs stood on end, and expanded to a drop in temperature with a cold chill or breeze occasionally emanating from the corner section of the women’s department. The department was oddly enough, around the corner from the same storage rooms where, unbeknownst to Tyler, an employee found John many years ago. Occasionally, Tyler could swear he heard faint murmurs from the changing rooms or the back corner. Going over to investigate, he would find nobody there. Initially, he would think nothing of it until it would happen again. Sometimes there would be clothing strewn about in the changing rooms he just cleared out or racks in disarray that he had just straightened. Now, a reader might say, “maybe you just weren’t paying attention to the fact that there actually was a customer there destroying your department.” To clear things up, the department is roughly the size of a large classroom that could fit fifty people comfortably and the register faces both the entrance to the fitting room and that back corner. On one of the last nights Tyler worked there, he and a fellow co-worker were standing at the register talking about the upcoming football season and how the Broncos were going to hopefully pull through. As there was break in the conversation, both she and Tyler’s eyes were drawn to a sudden movement in the far corner of the department. It looked to be a vague figure of a man walking briskly away. Now, Tyler would admit that he was tired and perhaps his eyes were playing tricks on him, but due to past events that had occurred, and the fact that his coworker saw the same thing, lead him to question what really happened just then. He and his co-worker went to investigate, but found nothing. She then proceeded to tell Tyler the story that I retold above and of her encounters with what she believed is the ghost of John Smith. From then on, other employees at Sears have been experiencing odd happenings. Now this may just seem like a bunch of hocus pocus to many readers and that perhaps all of the employees at Sears are off their rocker. If one ever feels the need to find out for them self, feel free to venture into the store at night and see what happens. Just don’t get caught.

22 comments:

  1. First-It does creep me out a little because I have been in that Sears plenty of times. It is scary to think of this so close to my home. You say at the end about "hocus pocus" but at the start you say that you elaborated some parts of the story. So I am not sure if you want the readers to believe it or not? Also I would just take out the "Just don't get caught". I think it sounds good without it.

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  2. The story is so creepy, and its very relatable since it takes place somewhere close. It makes it more believable that its so close to home and not in a different country. The only thing that is a little off is the characters name is so generic, i'm not sure if you changed it for the purpose of the story but the name is so generic it makes me question it a little. Other then that it was a very good story!

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  3. This story is so descriptive and detailed that I almost believed it! I said almost because your entire first paragraph worked against what this story was supposed to be about; you discredited your story. In order to make people believe this I would take the first paragraph out and replace the names with at least somewhat believable fake names. Other than that I loved it and though it was very compelling!

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  4. Very interesting story. The only few things that don't help out the credibility were the first paragraph and the point of view. I would have believed it a little more if it had been in first person when you started talking about the encounter. The story about John Smith is a little lengthy and takes awhile to get to the main point: supernatural story. Other than that, good paper!

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  5. This story was amazing! i loved it! The way you wrote it was like you were telling a story and were very into it. The background story of John Smith was so real. It really drew me in and felt incredibly real. As a reader, you also empathize with him, which is an appeal to pathos. You had plenty of background explaining why the strange occurrence happened as well as a witness to it which establishes credibility. i would just leave out little comments that debated whether or not the story was real or not, like saying that it is not entirely true, mentioning hocus pocus, etc. Otherwise this story was awesome!

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  6. Well, that was a pretty great story. You made it funny which I really appreciate and interesting which is also appreciated. I love how you started your story because it really engaged the reader. For the classes sake, your credibility wasn't really there, but you made it your own. The emotion was there, but in a totally different way than expected. You ranted on a little when talking about how lame john smith is, but besides that, great job!

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  7. The story was very good. It was interesting the whole time and kept my attention throughout. The details and the facts were very good and help the credibility of the story a ton. It was a very creepy story and that is what we are going for. Great job on the story.

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  8. Scary! Personally I don't like to go to Sears. But actually using the background of this "ghost" or "spirit" puts more credibility to your story. Very detailed and the part were the co-worker and you see someone and realize nobody was actually there is so creepy!

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  9. WOAH this is scary. I really don't like going into Sears, it gives me bad vibes. Your story seems very credible and detailed. You had great details like with the co-worker. Overall this is a great story!

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  10. Saying in the fist paragraph that your story could be false might be a detriment to believability, but following it up at the end really helped to tie it off. It felt very interesting that you wrote phenomenon after the main bulk of the story, that also gave it a good creepy feel that left an impression.

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  11. This story is soooo good it had my attention all through out it. I have really nothing to say against it. It is just too well written. You give a lot of info, then get to the part of the story you want to tell so it just seems even better after the suspense is built a little.

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  12. Great use of vocabulary, sentence structure and voice! kept me engaged and reading the whole time. Im not sure as to whether the introduction paragraph helps out the credibility of the story at all but i sure liked it anyway! excellent writing tyler!

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  13. Really good, I was drawn into it the whole time. Facts and good writing help you credibility. You gave lots info through out the whole story building up suspense.

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  14. nice job on your story. then detailing is ridiculously good and the way you give people a warning is just great. by stating that you had me read through it with a lot of attention. the details helped me create a picture and try to imagine the whole thing. i think this is a great story

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  16. Very nice story. I liked the intro, it led into the story very nicely. Although the story was not difficult to follow I would say that it is very length in some areas. A couple paragraphs are very very long. However overall very nice job. The fact that this sears is so close to my house adds credibility at least for me.

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  17. I like the voice that you used to portray the story; it made the story very easy to read and made it more entertaining as well. However, you note that the events have been fabricated or elaborated to add to the story. This hurts your credibility and how believable the story is because you don’t know what’s fabricated and what’s real. The characters names are also very generic, and it makes it difficult to feel like they are real people. You made the story more believable by saying that other people have encountered the same “supernatural” experiences in the store.

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  18. I like the way you narrate the story it adds a creepiest to the story. I think the fact that you put in your story that it’s been faked in the pasted kind of hurts the reader to believe your story. The way it is written is that some of the paragraphs are little to long. Over the story is good just kind of hard to believe.

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  19. Though the story was interesting, it lacked any credibility due to the way it was written. The campfire, ghost story feel to it made me take it for just a story, not something that I was meant to take seriously. The attention but not overuse of detail, however, was very well done.

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  20. They way you told that story put me in a interesting place. I was creeped out in a new way.You did take away from your credibility mentioning in the intro how you added details and facts. Overall it was interesting and fun to read. Good job.

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  21. This story was really well told and kept my interest the whole way through. Unfortunately, you completely destroy your credibility in the first paragraph. It could be seen as ominous and mysterious, further adding to the supernatural tone of the story, but it can also be seen as a disclaimer that the entire thing was fictitious. Besides that the precise word choice of the piece emotionally appealed to the reader, making it unusual and spooky.

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  22. You use so much detail and description and it really helps the reader get an image and be able to imagine the setting of the story. If you hadn’t of said at the beginning of the story that it might not all be true I would have thought it was a true story! It really helps that you add so much detail about John it makes the reader believe he really did work there. Although you may want to re consider the names you use.

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