My father had told me a story he experienced in 2006, two months after my Grandmother had passed away. He had always mentioned how close he was to his mother, as well as the tight bond she had with his two brothers. The family was connected, but on a much deeper level. During the time she was alive, she would often call and check up on my dad if she felt something was wrong, or knew he was going through a hardship. She had this “way” of knowing when something was off.
Those two months after she passed away, my dad would have vivid dreams of her, and a strange occurrence during work. A couple times per week during the grieving stages, the phone would ring at his office. Nobody would answer back after he picked up. With the silent calls going on for weeks, it was brought up to my mother, who said it was my grandma reaching out to him. My mother has always paid particular interest in subtle happenings such as these. So she knew without any doubts, this was my grandmother reaching out from the other side.
Towards the end of these couple of months, the silent phone calls did come to a stop. The last thing my father recalls was this one day in particular when he was getting home from work. He stood by the front door, and noticed our cat in the kitchen nearby. Suddenly, a rush of something completely unidentifiable swept by him, and our cat became unsettled and ran from the kitchen in terror as if something had disturbed the peace in the home. He couldn’t even explain it. It wasn’t wind and it certainly wasn’t an object, but it was definitely “something.” Speaking to mom again, she knew, this was my grandmother reaching out one last time, and perhaps saying her final goodbye.
After that last encounter, we’ve seen nothing else happen since. My mother said it is thought that spirits will reach out to loved ones through electrical objects such as phones and other electronics, as it is easier for them to touch our world. I have heard other people’s stories of strange events happening soon after their relative passed away, more so having to do with dreams. During those few months, I did dream once of my grandmother. She was standing at the end of a hallway, floating in all sheer white, just like our own interpretation of an angel. Spirits touching our world may in fact be very possible, but grasping the concept may still be beyond any of us.
Those two months after she passed away, my dad would have vivid dreams of her, and a strange occurrence during work. A couple times per week during the grieving stages, the phone would ring at his office. Nobody would answer back after he picked up. With the silent calls going on for weeks, it was brought up to my mother, who said it was my grandma reaching out to him. My mother has always paid particular interest in subtle happenings such as these. So she knew without any doubts, this was my grandmother reaching out from the other side.
Towards the end of these couple of months, the silent phone calls did come to a stop. The last thing my father recalls was this one day in particular when he was getting home from work. He stood by the front door, and noticed our cat in the kitchen nearby. Suddenly, a rush of something completely unidentifiable swept by him, and our cat became unsettled and ran from the kitchen in terror as if something had disturbed the peace in the home. He couldn’t even explain it. It wasn’t wind and it certainly wasn’t an object, but it was definitely “something.” Speaking to mom again, she knew, this was my grandmother reaching out one last time, and perhaps saying her final goodbye.
After that last encounter, we’ve seen nothing else happen since. My mother said it is thought that spirits will reach out to loved ones through electrical objects such as phones and other electronics, as it is easier for them to touch our world. I have heard other people’s stories of strange events happening soon after their relative passed away, more so having to do with dreams. During those few months, I did dream once of my grandmother. She was standing at the end of a hallway, floating in all sheer white, just like our own interpretation of an angel. Spirits touching our world may in fact be very possible, but grasping the concept may still be beyond any of us.
The fact that your father is the one who told you the story makes it easier to believe. Also, the part where your father cannot describe what happened in the kitchen makes the reader feel the "supernatural" part of the story. You say it's as something was there and made the cat leave. I believe your story because I also believe that our loved ones have a way of saying goodbye to us.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a sad yet sweet story. i really believed you because your father was the one who was being reached by your grandmother.You also established your credibility in the unknown factors. Such as when your father could not describe what he felt in the kitchen. i also liked how you ended with a personal experience you had about your grandma just like your father, she must have been an amazing woman to affect both of you and that is an emotional appeal.
ReplyDeleteI think these kinds of stories are easier to believe when they happen to a close relative, in this case your father was the subject which made your story more realistic. Also, I really liked your ending sentence and how you used it to leave your story with a thought in mind.
ReplyDeleteThis story seemed very believable to me because it is not unlike what my mother experienced with her grandfather. At the beginning you established an emotional connection with the reader because you showed the strong connection your father and grandmother had, which I liked. I also liked that you added your own dream in which added to the credability. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI think by saying that your father was the one who told you the story increases the credibility of the piece. Mentioning the strong connection between your father and grandmother helps to really draw the reader in. Your details were interesting. I would have found the story more believable if you had explained the kinds of things other people had seen that were similar to your father's story.
ReplyDeleteThis story is believable because it elicits an emotional response from the reader and the fact that it was your father also helped your argument. It is emotional because you do a good job making the story supernatural, but also because it is about the death of your grandmother. Death is always supernatural because no one knows what happens after someone dies. The idea of spirits visiting someone is believable in the first place, but the way you wrote your story made it even more believable, because the reader was able to sympathize and be awed at the paranormal at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jessica, death is always supernatural because no one actually knows what happens after someone dies. I can relate to this story because my grandfather passed away 3 years ago and till this day some of my family members dream about him. These type of stories are always very emotional and you did a great job on showing that, very credible.
ReplyDeleteI like the way the story is emotional and you explain the mother son connection at the beginning. It helps to know that with the way the rest of the story goes, it adds credibility. The conclusion could use a little bit of work though, it is kind of abrupt, but i do see how it would be hard to end this topic.
ReplyDeleteStudies through interview and mere surveys have shown that people do experience events such as this when loved ones have died. Look for these and use them to bolster your story. Emotion helps readers to relate more to it as well so use that too.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely consider adding a little detail about some studies showing paranormal activities through loved ones. Your story was very good and super interresting. I find it very believable seeing as it came from your father and many people experienced it. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteVery good story. The emotion of the story was there and you had some credibility. It was hard for me to believe the story. If you added more credibility, it would be much more believable. You had very good detail to help the reader picture the story. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this story. It was very believable to me because there are many encounters like this everywhere. There was a great emotional connection with it and good details. Good Job ! :D
ReplyDeletereally good story and very credible just because i have the same relationship with my mom she can sense it when there's something wrong. the details add a nice twist to the story. nice job
ReplyDeleteThe deep relationship that your grandmother had with your father, and how she always had a “way” of knowing when something was wrong makes it more believable that she would stick around during the grieving stages. I like how you conclude your story with your own personal experiences and note how these spirits are possible but may be beyond us. I think it wasn’t very clear why your mother was keen on the paranormal. Since she linked all of the events to your grandmother, I think that you should build her credibility a little more. But there was more credibility when you said that your dad felt something.
ReplyDeleteHaving this happen to your father makes it more believable, and also adding emotion in the beginning helps the credibility. Love ones have a strange connection sometimes and I wouldn't be surprised if something like this happened to someone else.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe contractions are supposed to be used in papers, although it may be alright in this instance. However you may want to remove them. This story was very entertaining, and also credible because it happened to your own family, and the phone calls with no one on the line are very interesting. Good story.
ReplyDeleteI like the intro where you stated that the family was connected, but on a deep level. It forshadowed some of the events soon to come. This was an effective sentence because it made me want to keep reading just to see what happened next! great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great story! The way you present the story is easy for the reader to follow. The story appealed to the reader’s emotions very well. Having it happen to your father makes the creditability of the story even better than if it had happened to a friend. The story could have used more facts than what you provided
ReplyDeleteHaving your father be the main character made this story very real. That is always a good way to start it off.A few more details would help you out but its still very strong. I was hooked right away and it made it easy to read!
ReplyDeleteThe death of a family member is usually an emotional thing for anyone, not to mention remaining in contact with a deceased one for a time after. Strange as it sounds I have always believed phone lines are receptors for conscious energy.
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