My mother, Tammy was in eighth grade and was enticed by the promises of magic and spiritual happenings. She and her friend Diane saved for weeks and bought a book witchcraft. An article they had read in the newspaper had promised they could have anything they had ever wanted, as soon as they wanted it. They had been reading this book for a few weeks before Diane introduced my mother to a Ouija board.
The Ouija board was a dark wood with the usual markings on it, yes, no, goodbye, and letters in the center. In the middle of the board was a perfectly round, cold, black ball. Diane and my mother sat down on either side of the board and looked at each other. Neither one of them had ever even seen a Ouija board, so they definitely didn’t know how it worked.
They started to formulate guesses on how to use the board. They came to the conclusion that it was played like 20 questions and the ball would roll to the answer of their question. They began to ask simple questions and as they assumed, the ball did roll. After a few questions the girls became wary.
My mother didn’t see how this connected them to spirits or unknown beings. As they voiced their opinions about the board the ball began to lift up above the board. Diane noticed it and both the girls got quiet. The ball began to rotate around the Ouija board. Slowly at first but faster as it kept going. Neither one of the girls had any idea what was going on and were both scared that they had made a mistake. So my mother kicked it into the closet and Diane slammed the door closed. Immediately the girls retrieved the book on witchcraft and threw it out into a fire dumpster in the woods where the book would burn and never be seen by the two girls again.
Weeks later, after going nowhere near the closet, My mother and Diane decided that they needed to get rid of the board just like had done with the book. They made Diane’s brother cookies and asked him if he would get it out of the closet and put it in a burlap sack for them. He agreed, but only because he received a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies. They took the sack containing the Ouija board and put it in the same burning barrel they had placed their magazines in.
Afterwards the girls made a promise to each other to never involve themselves in magic or dark spiritual things again. They held each other to that promise, remembering how that perfectly round, cold, black ball had risen and spun around their first and last Ouija board.
The Ouija board was a dark wood with the usual markings on it, yes, no, goodbye, and letters in the center. In the middle of the board was a perfectly round, cold, black ball. Diane and my mother sat down on either side of the board and looked at each other. Neither one of them had ever even seen a Ouija board, so they definitely didn’t know how it worked.
They started to formulate guesses on how to use the board. They came to the conclusion that it was played like 20 questions and the ball would roll to the answer of their question. They began to ask simple questions and as they assumed, the ball did roll. After a few questions the girls became wary.
My mother didn’t see how this connected them to spirits or unknown beings. As they voiced their opinions about the board the ball began to lift up above the board. Diane noticed it and both the girls got quiet. The ball began to rotate around the Ouija board. Slowly at first but faster as it kept going. Neither one of the girls had any idea what was going on and were both scared that they had made a mistake. So my mother kicked it into the closet and Diane slammed the door closed. Immediately the girls retrieved the book on witchcraft and threw it out into a fire dumpster in the woods where the book would burn and never be seen by the two girls again.
Weeks later, after going nowhere near the closet, My mother and Diane decided that they needed to get rid of the board just like had done with the book. They made Diane’s brother cookies and asked him if he would get it out of the closet and put it in a burlap sack for them. He agreed, but only because he received a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies. They took the sack containing the Ouija board and put it in the same burning barrel they had placed their magazines in.
Afterwards the girls made a promise to each other to never involve themselves in magic or dark spiritual things again. They held each other to that promise, remembering how that perfectly round, cold, black ball had risen and spun around their first and last Ouija board.
I think it might be good if you added more about the board. Or maybe just more detail in general. Since it happened to your mom and her friend it makes it some what believable. Very good story though.
ReplyDeleteI love the intro sentences here. When you mentioned that the girls were questioning the Ouija board and how it was spiritual, it seemed believable here. After reading various books and hearing random stories about Ouija boards, I automatically believed this could have happened. Since it deals with spirits, however, it could bring up a good argument.
ReplyDeleteWow! This story was captivating and intreaging! Your writing style is so clear and concise that it made me want to read more! I even felt like I had a strong emotional connection with it. Great job!
ReplyDeleteRachel, your story was really intertaining. The fact that this happened to your mom made the story more believable. Also, I noticed how well and neat its written which probably helped your credibility even more.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! Explaining a bit more about the Ouija board could of helped you to make your story more credible. But the fact that it happened to your mom and the promise she made with her friend makes it believable because of the fear they felt.
ReplyDeleteGreat story. You have pretty decent credibility with the story being about your mother, but maybe explaining the workings of the Ouija board could have helped. Besides that, it was a great story with a lot of detail. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis seems too much like "Jumangi" with the Ouija board for me to really find it credible. The fact that it happened to your mother makes it seem slightly more credible. Without other references that prove a Ouija board is capable of floating or everything else you described, the story seems very unrealistic to me.
ReplyDeleteI felt like this was somehting from the twilight zone. Ouija boards are very unreliable sources of information in my personal information. Now I'm not calling you or those in the story liers, I just had a hard time believing this. When writing your analysis, try to place some facts or studies about ouija boards in there
ReplyDeleteThis story is very engaging and i loved reading it. It starts good, continues to be good, then ends good too. Nice job. Whether or not it is believable though is different though. I feel like Ouija Boards are something you have to play with first before you can believe other people or you will just always be a skeptic.
ReplyDeleteMy attention was easily grabbed by this story. I have never used an Ouija board before so it is kind of hard for me to relate to this happening, so more description of the board would have been welcomed.
ReplyDeleteI really like your opening sentence, it starts to put a clear picture into my head of little kids playing with normal toys, and then a group of rebelious kids going for something different. Its credible because of the fact it happened to your mom. Definitely adding a little more detail or history about the board would help make it more relatable to someone who has never played with one before. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI personally was able to relate to the story really well, having similar stories of my mother playing the same game with her friends as a kid. Simple, but well placed vocabulary like witchcraft and the descriptive bit about the "perfectly round, cold, black ball" helped to add a ominous feeling to the story. Great story!
ReplyDeleteYou did a nice job with this story, it was very believable. Because the story had been told to you by your mother, and that the story was about your mother and her friend made it more believable than if it had been someone else. Mother’s don’t lie to their children about supernatural things very often. Your vocabulary was well chosen, and helped bring forth an emotional connection with the reader. As all of these things happened to your mother, the reader was left wondering what the consequences would be. All of the small details in the story also helped the believability, because it made it seem more credible because you knew all of the details.
ReplyDeleteIn your opening sentence I liked that you compared regular kids toy to an Ouija board. Not many people know what a Ouija Board is, so you could of added some background information to it. You described the board good. Other than that it's a good story.
ReplyDeleteI have never seen a Ouija Board or played or anything, but I can relate to this because I know some of the problems of a Ouija Board and what it can create. Good story, putting a little more background on the Ouija Board would helps its credibility. Also this happening to your mother helps make it believable.
ReplyDeletethis is a great story. this story have me goosebumps from the start till the the end. i have always thought those boards were dumb but the way you use it in the story made me wonder if they really work. its clear that kids shouldn't play with that
ReplyDeleteRachel, I really like your writing style; it keeps the reader captivated. However, I’ve never played with an Ouija board so it was difficult for me to picture it from the description provided. You could also consider adding some general research about the Ouija board and the paranormal activity that it is often linked with. This way, it’s clear why your mom was playing with something outside of our realm.
ReplyDeleteThis was a credible story because it happened to your mother and one of her friends. As some have already said, I would add more on the board, maybe history and more details. You did a good job of keeping this story very entertaining, and a lot of good details on what exactly had happened.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very believable story because of the fact that it happened to your mother and her friend when they were younger. The story could use some more facts such as the history and how the board works to make it have a little bit more creditability to the story. The story was easy to follow and understand what was happening.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea what a Ouija board is but that is part of the reason i liked the story so much. it was unfamiliar to me and made me want to read more.The way you wrote this kept me interested the whole time. Overall great story
ReplyDeleteThis was a credible story because it happened to your mother and one of her friends. The story was easy to follow and understand what was happening. And the word in your story is accurate
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